The Post I SHOULD Have Done Yesterday

Thank you for a husband who loves me unconditionally and is my biggest supporter in everything I do.

Thank you for a sister who thinks exactly like I do and who is always on my side.

Thank you for a little boy who randomly comes and wiggles his way against my side and lays his head on my shoulder.

Thank you for a little girl who comes home from school and promptly sits down to do her homework without being asked.

Thank you for a cat who is finally starting to act like he likes us.

Thank you for friends who can cure whatever ails me with Red Robin, Guitar Hero, and lots and lots of laughter...every time.

And thank you, from the bottom of my swollen heart, to the angel whose name I don't know, who performed the kindest act of service I have received in a long time. I wish I knew who you were so I could thank you properly, but hopefully you are reading this and you'll know just how much your selfless act meant to me.

Thank you.

And The Nominees Are...

I figured out why I hardly ever blog anymore. Well, there's multiple reasons, one being that I worry no one cares what I have to say, but another big factor is that it seems to take me F-O-R-E-V-E-R to write a post. By the time I upload my pictures off my camera, make them small enough to put on my blog, put them on my blog, and sit and think of clever, witty things to say, I've blown an entire morning. Lately my time is sacred and I am just unwilling to spend all morning on the computer. (My phone, now that's a different story altogether.)

Anyway, I've heard people say that they get bored with blogs that don't have a lot of pictures. So I put off blogging because I don't have any good pictures and even if I did it takes too long to put them on my computer. But then I realized...I'm not a photographer. I'm a writer. Therefore, I am officially giving myself permission to blog without excessive use of pictures. Of course I'll still put pictures on when I have good ones or something noteworthy to talk about that has accompanying pictures, but otherwise, nope. I've come to terms with it, you need to too. I'm a writer, so I will write, and if I have any talent whatsoever, my writing should be able to hold its own, picture-less.

Speaking of writing, I'm working on my book after a dry-spell. (You may also know it as "writer's block.") But I've been given great advice and I'm going to plug ahead, even though (heaven forbid) I'm not 100% thrilled with the last little bit that I've written. But good heck, if I'm ever gonna get this thing done I am just going to have to WRITE and quit worrying about perfection.

On a side note, they announced the Oscar nominees today. I thought I'd announce them on my blog by (aha) writing a little story. See if you can figure out the nominated movies and actors.

A serious man named George Clooney who lived in District 9 was fed up with being single. He decided to create an avatar of a young woman for a companion, whom he named Sandra Bullock. She was precious. George and Sandra were happy together for a while, until one day they were driving in George's car and two guys named Morgan Freeman and Colin Firth hit George's car with their Hummer, right in the blind side, throwing Sandra out of the car and up in the air. "Inglorious Basterds!" he yelled. (Hey, don't judge me, it's the name of the movie.) "You need an education in driving!!" George ran over to Sandra, who had landed in a locker room. Sandra, being an avatar, wasn't hurt thank goodness, but she had done some serious damage when she fell. As George inspected the hurt locker, Meryl Streep and Helen Mirren walked up. "What happened here?!" they exclaimed. "Jeff Bridges just told us about an accident, so we came!" Then Gabourey Sidibe walked up and asked if anyone had seen Jeremy Renner because she had heard that he, too, was a huge N'Sync fan. They all laughed at her and headed off to Carey Mulligan's house for a little pre-Oscar bash. The End.

Only a month 'til the Oscars baby!

Weighing In On Hot Topics

American Idol Judges

Kara

I thought she annoyed me last season.
Then this season started.
Suddenly the pursed lips, fake sexy lisp, and theatrical movements are almost physically painful for me to watch.

I never thought I'd miss Paula.


Simon

Love him. As always.
He is the only real thing about the show. Which is why next season will completely suck. I don't know if I'll be able to watch it.


Ellen

Can't. Wait.


Haiti

My heart aches for this country. I can't wrap my brain around the extent of the devastation, the number of deaths, the pain and the suffering, the nightmare these people are living that they can't get out of. I wish there was more I could do to help. But since I can't fly over there and offer my services, I'm so grateful for people that can, and did, like my cousin Matt. Read about what he's doing here.



The NBC Fiasco

If I had a giant hammer, and a couple hundred dollars to throw around, and security access to NBC Headquarters, I'd fly to New York and hit CEO Jeff Zucker upside the head. I seriously CANNOT imagine what the idiots at NBC think they are doing, but I'm guessing their last meeting before this crap started went something like this:

Idiot #1: "Leno's ratings are down. Apparently he's not funny at 10:00, only at 11:30."
Idiot #2: "Well then we must get him back to 11:30."
Idiot #1: "I love it! Even though the viewers think Conan is substantially funnier than Leno and The Tonight Show is better than ever, I see this is the answer to everything. Oust the funny, popular host for the boring, has-been host. Genius idea, pure genius."
Idiot #2: "That's what they pay me the big bucks for."

I cannot believe tonight is Conan's last show. I am boycotting The Tonight Show from there on out. I would boycott NBC if it weren't for The Office and 30 Rock.

Conan, I will follow you wherever you go.

TEAM COCO FOREVER!!

Hippo Krit

One thing I am proud to claim as a strength is the fact that I am not ashamed to admit when I am wrong. If I believe that I am right, I will fight it to the death. But if I realize I am wrong, I will immediately admit it. Believe me, there have been plenty of times. I can think of several examples throughout my life where I have had a nice plate of crow for dinner. Like, when I had serious doubts about a friend's decision to get engaged to a guy she met online, only to get engaged to an onliner of my own a few months later...without even meeting the guy first. Or the time I judged a family member for getting pregnant only three months after getting married, only to have a bun in the oven myself a mere month after getting married. So, yeah, I am the queen of saying "I'll never do that" and then totally doing it later on. The Lord has a way of teaching me valuable lessons about judging or saying "I'll never." I (try to) refrain from using that phrase anymore, because it will inevitably happen. (I tried saying "I'll never be a millionaire" but so far it hasn't paid off.)

Where am I going with this? I'm getting to it. Remember this post? Yeah, well, I'm feeling a bit foolish now. Because some idiot out there with nothing better to do with his/her time has felt the need to start commenting on completely random, old posts of mine with the most ridiculous, nonsensical crap. My old arch-nemesis, Anonymous. Curse you Anonymous!! One day I will find out who you are and I will thrown down, be sure of that.

Why do I care? One, because I don't want their word vomit in my archives, saved on this digital journal of mine, and two, because I get their stupid comments emailed to me and I'm getting at least one a day. Curious about said comments? Here's just a few of the gems:

Anonymous said...

It agree, it is an amusing piece

Anonymous said...

Bravo, the excellent answer.

Anonymous said...

The authoritative answer, funny...I can suggest to visit to you a site on which there is a lot of information on a theme interesting you.

Another was all in Spanish and one that I can't find but wish I could asked me where they could find a unicorn. They are all on posts that are at least 6-18 months old and have nothing to do with what I talked about.

So, needless to say, I am feeling a bit violated and want to put an end to this, even if it means being the biggest hypocrite on the planet. From here on out, you (and by you I mean my five commenters out there) will have to type in gibberish in order to comment. So there, computer-generated Anonymous. Who's laughing now?

January Blues

You knew it had to be coming, right? My annual Post-Christmas Blues post? It is January, after all. Every year around Christmas I think, "I'm feeling great. I really think I might avoid the blues this year. Why would it suddenly change just because Christmas is over?" Oh, but give it a week or two. It'll come. It always does.

It was just a few days ago that I realized The Blues were in full force. I stopped to assess my life and, sure enough, the evidence was undeniable.

-Pity and self-loathing over failed resolutions? Check.
-Feeling akin to a deflated balloon after the hype of Christmas came to an end? Check.
-Desire to sleep and play pointless games on my phone overpower any desire to do an actual hobby? Check.
-Making myself feel better for failing my diet by eating chocolate? Check.
-Trying to remember how two weeks ago I was caught up in the Christmas Spirit? Check.

See, it's all there, written all over my makeup-free face. I refuse to admit how many days this week I have not gotten dressed at all. Of course, I've been using my head cold as justification for that, but only I know that really it's because getting dressed is something that happy people do.

The only thing brightening my day today is the hope that maybe you'll find this post entertaining. For past January Blues posts, see my archives. They're all in January. Go figure.

Is Christmas Here Yet?

I don't like it when life leaves me no time to blog. It means it's way too crazy busy. You know it's bad if you have to wake up at 5:30 am to have time to sit on the computer.

Now that I average one or two blog posts a month, I feel like I need to really put some thought into what I blog and make it a good one, since I don't know when the next one might happen. I had a great post brewing in my head the last few weeks about the 12 Days of Christmas (or at least, my version of it), but that didn't happen. I was going to take a picture of my Charlie Brown Christmas tree that my wonderful sister Amy bought me that has become my absolute favorite Christmas decoration, but that didn't happen. I was going to do a very deep, pensive piece on my thoughts about Christmas, but that didn't happen. I was going to do another Christmas Wish List post like I did last year, but that didn't happen either.

So instead I'll brief you on the happenings of the last few weeks:

• lots of Christmas shopping
• worked on Christmas cards
• watched the "Holiday Program" at kids' school
• had a fun progressive dinner with my parents and siblings and their families
• hole in my garage door
• worked on Christmas cards
• got released as Primary Secretary (sniff), new calling TBA
• Christmas shopping
• big annual Mathews Family Christmas Dinner
• got early Christmas present in Yakima
• read my own words on a book in Barnes & Noble
• helped at school class parties
• more cards
• more shopping
• saw New Moon two more times
• finished and mailed cards (yippee!)

What is not on the list? Wrapping presents. I have yet to wrap a single one. Now you know what I'll be doing all day today.

T minus 2 days and counting!

Open Position for New Carpooler

So, apparently I hand out Mom Awards too freely. I guess I spoke too soon. I'm not sure I would have chosen someone for my list that was going to put my son in her car the next day and then promptly DRIVE INTO MY GARAGE DOOR!!!

Look closely at the left side.

Good thing I didn't need to go anywhere today. Or tomorrow. Or next week.

On the bright side, we've been looking for ways to go green. Natural light in our garage now. Perfect.

Rachael, all I'm sayin' is, you're just lucky I'm not handing out any Good Driver Awards!